Friday, November 11, 2011
& we haven't spoken in 2 weeks.
Just got out of my Short Story class where I gave a pretty disasterous presentation on absolutely nada.
Now I'm home watching an Immortal Technique interview (surprise), eating Chinese food & drinking coffee.
Gotta love New York.
This whole 11.11.11. thing has me all nervous & shit.
"It only happens once every 1 thousand years...."
Technically, it'll happen twice today...there's two 11 o'clocks, homie.
Clearly, I'll be sitting right here when the first one passes.
There it goes...
I've been insanely stressed out with school lately.
On the first day of school, my English professor addressed the class by saying: "Don't expect to have a perfect semester because there is no such thing. This will not be a perfect semester for you".
I was all: "Yeah-yeah, Whore. Just teach".
The bitch jinxed me.
This has been a...really-not-so-great semester for me.
I had to withdraw from my math class & I was lucky it didn't fuck up my financial aid because I'd never withdrawn from a class prior to this one.
Now my History class is not working out, so I went to see my psycho professor yesterday & he basically told me I'm screwed.
It's one of those things where all I have to do is sit down & give some major thought to what it is that I need to do, but I can't take that time out because it stresses me out to even think about having to think about this situation.
...& I'm getting fucking tired of my mom telling me to just leave school & work for a while.
What parent says that?
My biggest fear is leaving school & never going back because I get caught up in working too many hours & living for the sole purpose of getting a paycheck.
I love school more than I love most things.
The last thing I want to do is be away from school, working in some shitty fast-food joint with the other people that got stuck.
I know what I'm good at & there are a lot of things I can do with this skill if I can just get past this obstacle of taking ridiculous classes like Statistics & First Aid.
Did I tell you, my advisor wanted to put me in a Geology class?
Since when do English majors need to know about rocks?
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who knows what they want to do with their life but I just can't get there like everyone else.
I guess the upside of all this stress, is that this semester hasn't had it's own Poetry Boy or DisasterCrush...then again, that could be the downside too.
Now that I think about it, that's probably one of the main reasons I haven't been on here as much anymore.
I mean, what else do I talk about other than guys?
Ever since leaving my math class with South, there hasn't been anyone worth talking about.
I've been in talks with my friend about heading down to Brooklyn or Harlem before Thanksgiving or Christmas to hang out, but we'll see.
If you can't find an attractive man in NYC, chances are you're asexual.
I just want to get out of here, is all.
Even if I have to come right back, I just want to get gone for a few days.
I just bought Always Running by Luis J. Rodriguez, a teen-fiction novel that caught my eye & this month's Cosmo, so I'm gonna go lay on the couch & get some reading time in.
I'll be talking to you sooner than later.