Monday, June 13, 2011

Hai, Bad Timing

Happy 1 year anniversary!
Congrats, you've made it a full 12 months with my crazy ass.
I don't know how this site hasn't crashed with all my bullshit, but I don't know what I would've done if it had.
My timing for this post is absolutely terrible seeing as I haven't been posting consistently in almost a month.
Don't think I'm even close to being finished with this thing.
As long as my life continues on, I'm sure to have plently of nonsense to talk about.
In all honesty, I've been out of school for a little under a month now & I've been sleeping my ass off & enjoying the lack of papers I have due.
No assignments.
Nowhere I need to be.
No early mornings.
...& No BOYS.
That's probably the best excuse I have for this site being so vacant lately & I do apologize.

It's been a year...
Strange. It feels like a lot longer because in college, everything is divided up by semesters (i.e. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter) as opposed to in high school where the school year is a full nine months straight & then the shitty amount of weeks you get off during the summer makes it a full year.
I'm really not sure what I was hoping to accomplish when creating this blog.
I'm pretty sure I just wanted to follow Liam Wilson of the Dillinger Escape Plan & Frankie Palmeri of Emmure on their blogs.
Well, Frankie's blog is no longer in exsistance & Liam pretty much updates his once every 6 months...but somehow I'm still here.
I'll admit, I've gone back & deleted some of my earliest posts.
You know, the one's where I was just posting pictures of fucking nothing?
Yeah, those had to go.
My very first post, however, my very first post was the greatest example of foreshadowing I've ever proudly been a part of.
Everything I was afraid of happening on this site, happened.
This site has not only become a make-shift diary for me, but, as sad as it sounds, my best friend.
I tell you everyfuckingthing that goes on in my life & even though I use aliases & weird cryptic language, it's almost like our own secret code.
I mean, I could go outside & talk to anyone I know, even my closest friend I've had since 7th grade, & the minute I bring up the names DisasterCrush1, DisasterCrush2, RichKid, 2FB or Poetry Boy, the other person is going to be completely lost.
No one knows about the shit I go through with boys but this site & my actual diary.
I've been surrounded by very self-centered, workaholic, non-empathetic friends for the past year & although I tried to bring up DisasterCrush1 with one of my female friends at one point, my story somehow lead right back to her & her shitty experiences with boys.
The bitch is engaged.
Shut the the fuck up & let me vent.
I'll probably end up deleting all of my 'Shirt of the Day' posts.
I'm not sure why I decided to start doing that, but it got annoying as hell.
I'm not a fucking clothing store.
I have been considering bringing back 'Current Nails'.
I still do my nails constantly & my nail polish collection is up to about 120 polishes now.

Anyway, I'm getting off track as usual.
This was not supposed to be all about me, it's about this site & how much it's meant to me over the past year.
A Fictional Life has been something I look foreward to every day of my boring, heart-broken, college-kid exsistance.
Maybe Poetry Boy & DisasterCrush1 would've made it into my diary at some point & I could've been totally clear about what went down between us & even use their real names, but it just wouldn't be as fun &/or funny.
The fact that there is a link to this blog on my Facebook, opens the flood gates to a whole world of shit I don't know if I'm always ready to handle.
I'm friends with DisasterCrush1, Poetry Boy & RichKid on Facebook & although I know they have much better things to do than read my blog, I'm always sure to protect their names just in case they stumble upon it & realize what a psychopath I am.
I mean, look at it this way: Guys have to know girls write about them in their diaries. That's exactly what I'm doing here. There has been no stalking or breach of privacy in any, way shape or form.
I like boys.
What else can I say?

You've watched me go through the grinder with guys, stuck with me while I worked my ass off to transfer colleges, witnessed my favorite band break up out of nowhere, seen me lose friends quicker than I lose my mind & completely reject people who I used to call my heroes.
This site has been there through all of that & I can't imagine what life would be like if I hadn't documented it all.
Who knows what's going to happen next semester?
Maybe something good.
Whatever happens, though, you'll be the first to hear about it.
Thank you for keeping me sane during the craziest year of my life, this site means the world to me.
Here's to another hectic year.
Let's start making better mistakes together...