Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Holy Fucking God.


This site has become a makeshift gripe-session center for me & after this post, I'm going to try to get some positivity going on around here.
When I was in 8th grade, I would take a bath after dinner every night.
Incidentally, my friend would call me at the exact same time every single night, while I was taking a bath.
So what did my mom do?
Answer the phone, come into my bedroom, knock on my bathroom door & tell me I had a phone call.
Then I would spend my only alone time, talking to my friend in the bathtub.
Awkward, right?
Totally.
So, at some point I told my mom she needs to stop telling people I'm available when I'm trying to take bath...or when I'm in the bathroom in general.
She was understanding & I was once again able to bathe in peace.
So today, my day went a little bit like this:
-Get up at 6:00, wake my mom up at 6:30
-Go to my shitty English class for an hour
-Drive to my mom's doctor's appointment where I sat in a waiting room for over an hour
-Go grocery shopping
-Come home
...It's doesn't seem like a lot on paper but if you factor in the fact I don't sleep at night & all of this fucking rain, I was EXHAUSTED.
At some point when I got home, I mentioned to my mom that I was considering taking a break from a certain friend of mine.
I often need to take time away from friends because a lot of my friends have the ability of driving me up a wall.
I explained that I basically needed some Mariah-time as opposed to Friend-time.
Again, my mom seemed understanding & I felt like I'd made a good decision.
Around 1 p.m., I told my mom I was going to take a nap & retreated into my bedroom.
Before I fell asleep, I noticed the friend I'd been referring to had texted me 3 times saying "Let's Hang Out".
Everyone who knows me knows I take naps like you read about.
Whether I plan them or not, I have the tendency to pass out in any given place in the afternoon.
I didn't respond to the texts, figuring she would assume I was asleep &...well, fuck off.
So, I pass out.
Like hardcore, dead asleep.
I was dreaming about Beyonce when my mom woke me up by knocking on my door.
I didn't respond the first time hoping she'd get the hint I was half-unconscious, but the knocking continued & then got louder.
Me: What?
Mom: [Friend] is here!
Me: I'm taking a nap...
Mom: C'mon, Mariah.
No, after me not responding to her texts, did this chick have the fucking nerve to show up to my house.
Yes, she did.
When I still didn't respond to this, I heard my mom walk away & tell my friend to try to wake me up herself.
So for the next 2 minutes or so, I listened to my friend repeatedly knock on my bedroom door, try to turn my locked doorknob & call my name.
At this point I was so tired & so annoyed, all I wanted to do was cry.
Friend finally left & I, of course, went right back to sleep, but the annoyance that came from that situation is sticking with me.
Maybe I'm just being dramatic, but I feel so disrespected.
If I can't sleep in my bedroom what the fuck can I do?
My room is the only personal space I have (I don't even have my own car) & when I feel like that place is being invaded, I get upset.
This is not answering the phone in the bathtub in 8th grade.
This is waking an almost-20-year-old college student up from a nap after a long day, just so I can go out with the friend whom I previously explained I was trying to take a break from.
What in the fuck?
Now that I'm completely awake, & will be for the rest of the night, I'm in that weird state where I almost can't believe that it actually happened.
I guess I just needed to vent on the subject but it's still bothering the hell out of me.
I need my space & I need my respect.
I don't understand what's so difficult about that.

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