Thursday, February 10, 2011

Will I Ever Get My Life Back?:

Hayley Williams is in the new issue of Cosmo.
See what I mean?
This whole 'not-having-a-computer' thing is driving me up a fucking wall.
I don't know when I'll be able to get my computer fixed but now I'm down over $1,000 because of school.
I've been applying everywhere & I guess it kind of pisses me off to know that once I start getting a paycheck again, it's going to have to be spent on paying shit off.
Anyway, about the Acacia Strain show...
It's like one huge vicious cycle.
Everyone who hates me is going to be at that show &, bonus, they're all going together...&, BONUS bonus, one of those people is Vincent from the Acacia Strain's girlfriend. I've never met her, I'm sure she's a sweet girl but, she hangs out with the people who made high school a living hell for me.
Yeah, I've been watching my Acacia Strain dvd like a madwoman & it kills me to think that they're going to be 15 mins from my house & I'm not going because of some bullshit drama.
I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday because it doesn't make much sense that none of these people went to college nor are they doing much of anything with their lives, & they still have a better time than me.
Somehow they all have money, friends, places to go...
I drive my mom's car to a college I can barely afford every fucking day, I can't find another job & I haven't made any friends since graduating from high school in 2009.
I know I've been doing a lot of complaining lately but, sometimes it's defintely necessary.
I guess it clears my head a bit.
Like I said in another post, nothing will change if you don't get up and at least try to change it.
Every time I try to turn something around in my life, something else comes crashing down.
It's beyond frustrating.
I just feel like a total train wreck all the time.
Oh Hey.
Maybe you remember the boy in my poetry class last semester?
Yeah, he moved away BUT,
I dreamed about him a few days ago...& it was the best thing to happen to me all year.
It wasn't a sexual dream. We weren't even dating but, I swear, that kid makes me better.
I read somewhere that when you dream about someone you haven't seen in a while, it means they want to see you.
Please GOD, let that be true.
(btw, I just left my profile for 3 seconds & my default pic disappeared. Hence the new one)
Yeah, I'm in tangent world today. Getting ready to go to my 2 hour Forum class. If I had the option of punching myself in the face as hard as I could, as opposed to going to this class, I'd take it in a motherfucking heartbeat.
But I don't have that option...
So, I'll talk to you later.

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