Wednesday, November 10, 2010

My Tumblr was my life last summer. My entire life...& everything in it.
I started the blog on the 4th of July, 2009 &, as anyone who has a Tumblr knows, it was confusing as fuck at first. From reblogs, to likes, to Tumblarity, to followers, Tumblr was initially difficult to figure out. But once I got it down, I was totally & completely addicted. It got to the point where I would go to bed early in the morning after being on Tumblr all night, wake up, go straight to Tumblr & backtrack on everything I'd missed while I was asleep.
Yup, it was that bad...or good.
Look, I was a new high school graduate, with one workaholic friend & it was summer. I don't talk on the phone, I don't party & I sure as fuck didn't have a job, so Tumblr became my best friend last year.
My first follower was a kid named Tyler. This 16 year old indie kid who had unique taste in music & liked to look at strawberries. He posted a playlist of songs he was listening to at the time, complete with download links & I ate that shit up. Some of it was annoying, tortured artist shit & some was decent tortured artist shit, but I was happy that someone was freely giving me music to listen to.
I dowloaded his playlist, got more comfortable with my Tumblr (i.e. posting things that actually interested me), & he stopped following me about a week after he started.
I was never popular on Tumblr. The highest amount of followers I had was somewhere around 70, & the highest my Tumblarity ever reached was somewhere around 600.
Sounds like a lot but by Tumblr standards, that was just slightly better than average.
Tumblr made me feel like I actually had friends. I felt like we were all classmates, & maybe even closer because of all the personal shit people tend to put on the internet. There were a few girls I knew I could always talk to &, of course, the unattainable guy who always seems to play some kind of role in my life.
My Tumblr summer probably would've been better if Stephen hadn't been on there...or if he at least liked me.
Stephen was this cute 20 year old Candian kid that had eerily similar taste in music to mine & the best smile in the world. He had (has) a thing for super skinny blondes & much prettier brunettes, so I was always out of the question for him. I always liked & rebloged his posts, not because I liked him, but because he was fucking awesome. Every song lyric he posted was one of my favorite songs & every story he told was the funniest story I'd ever heard (like the time he gave someone's speech at the Oscars a standing ovation from his bedroom).
Stephen is not worth talking about. I'm sure he had some idea that I liked him, he just didn't care. That's life.
Tumblr was a fun way of finding myself as well. I posted shit I cared about & made random statements about what was going on around me. It was like a living, breathing diary that I could compare & contrast with a million others.
I kind of think Tumblr has gone to shit these days. I hardly ever check mine anymore, bigger names like Hayley Williams have caught on to it, & it doesn't seem like a bunch of lost teenagers/20-somethings anymore.
Ironically, my Tumblr url was derived from a Paramore lyric.
Well hey hey baby, it's never too late. Pretty soon you won't remember a thing. And I'll be distant as stars, reminiscent. Your heart's been wasted on me...
Decoy is not even close to my favorite Paramore song, but I adore that line & the way Hayley sings it. So that's where my name came from.
I feel so proud looking back at my old posts, even though it was only a year ago.
Sometimes, you really need to step back & check out just how fucking awesome you really are.
I miss Summer '09 & Tumblr '09...

The title's a link. Scope my archive on a rainy day.

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