Friday, December 31, 2010

So Long 2010:

I didn't do much this year. For the first 8 months, I wasn't even in school.
I did however, get my first tattoo, get into a college I LOVE & develop an amazing crush on a seemingly amazing guy.
Not bad for one year.
It's hard feeling nostalgic about something that literally just happened.
I feel like I just watched the ball drop yesterday.
2010 has been a learning experience to say the least.
Now all I have to do is remember what I learned...
2011, bring it on.

Happy New Year!

New Years Nails:

Did them last night at midnight.
The light is kind of odd in the photo because I took it as soon as I woke up & my bedroom doesn't have curtains.
Hopefully, they'll hold up for at least the full 24.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tucker Max & the Subject of Trollin':

First & foremost, let's just admire how sexy Tucker looks in this photo.

Alright, the other night, I was watching an interview with the charming Tucker Max & he made a comment about his haters that went something along the lines of him caring a little bit about the people who enjoy his books & him not giving a flying fuck about the people talking shit about him on "blogs that no one reads".
Good point.
With my tendency to talk shit about others, especially on this blog, I realized I pretty much just look like another internet "troll".
Not my all.
I feel like, these so-called "trolls" want people to get a rise out of their gossip. Kinda like a broke-Perez Hilton.
I started this page as something personal for myself. My Tumblr was annoying the shit out of me becuase Tumblr is based on popularity &, let's face it, I was eating lunch with the lunch-ladies on that site.
I still hate the word "blog". It reminds me of all these irritating women in their late 20's-early 30's, talking about absolute nonsense like it needs to make a difference in someone's life.
Your thoughts don't matter, if your not making any moves.
Sitting on the computer, writing on this site is therapeutic for me. I'm well-aware that the only way I can change the things I complain about is to get off my ass & work toward it.
Again, I think I'm getting off track.
I made my blog private because Tucker's comment made me think.
It will probably go back to being public but, it's not like anyone will notice.
I'm gonna take a little time to figure myself out on here.
And I'll be back again.

Current Nails & Mark Products

A little dark in my house, I know.
I happen to be a vampire.
Anyway, all my Mark shit just came about an hour & fifteen minutes ago.
I was half asleep on Christmas so, I'm sure I didn't seem too ecstatic while opening my presents. HOWEVER, I almost had a heart attack when the doorbell rang today. I've never tried Mark makeup, only their skin care which had a terrible effect on me. I've heard only amazing things about Mark's cosmetics so, we'll see how goes.
I'm stoked.

Nail Polish- Turned Up Turquoise, China Glaze

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Made my blog private.

Now one one knows it but me.
I'll probably change my mind but, for now, I'm enjoying the diary aspect of it.
Fuck you, Tucker Max.
Fuck you & your good opinions.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Is My Mind Changing Again?

I don't know. But this surely made me smile...

Saturday, December 25, 2010

On a Slightly Different Note:

I hate to say it but, I think I may have made a full 180 on my opinions of Big Ben.
Maybe not a complete 180, something more like a 154.
Not because he just lost to the Jets (or got punched in the face...or got his nose shattered) but because I can't seem to stop finding dirt on him.
And I mean DIRT.
Ben has literally spent the entire year of 2010 apoligizing for everything he's done in the past. Unfortunately, it's not like he's apolgizing for being an arrogant asshole, he apoligizing for the fact he's finally getting called out on it.
If there's anything I've noticed about this one, it's that he's really quite immature.
Maybe it's the fact he's so gigantic he seems like a big tough guy but, I somehow don't think that's the case. Not always, at least.
Let me step back for a hot second.
I still don't think Ben is a bad person.
I think there are very few "bad" people in the public eye.
However, with money comes greed, superficiality, & a sense of superiority.
Not for a minute don't I believe people want to be friends with Ben or have sex with him because of his status alone.
Obviously. Everyone has an agenda.
It just wish some people with money could take their fame in a more subtle stride.
Anyway, I'm getting off track.
Of course you can't believe everything you hear but, when you're hearing the same things over and over from different people, what the fuck else can you do?
Bottom Line: I shouldnt've read that Sport's Illustrated article.
Any Ben Roethlisberger fan or hater knows exactly what I'm talking about.
All that shit can't be lies. It just can't.
I'm not Ben's mother, mentor, friend or even acquaintance but, the way he's able to throw a ball perfectly to one of his teammates without even checking to see where they are first is a gift & something worth praise if he could just get his shit together off the field.
A little respect is all it takes.
I'll most likely be working until the day I die & I'm sure not a single person will ever ask for my autograph. Little things like signing for people blow my mind.
He's a lucky dude. Even when he's getting the shit annoyed out of him, it's a compliment.
I don't know if the above video is the "real" Ben, the "new" Ben, or someone trying way too hard to be nice when their nice side has been totally depleted.
Whoever it is, he's handsome & I wish him all the best.


I got:
-Two notepads
-A Barnes & Noble gift card
-A New Mousepad
Then I ordered a bunch of shit off of
Not a fan of Christmas but, it's been a good day.
Hope yours was even better.
Merry Christmas. <3

Well..Merry X-Mas...Eve...Night...?

Just made brownies, & cleaned up the entire kitchen which took FOREVER.
Now I have to clean the living room, then go out to the car & get my mom's presents while she's asleep (it's 22 degrees outside a.k.a. too cold to snow).
Have a good Christmas!

Thursday, December 23, 2010


Christmas-y nails won't last until Christmas.
I tried.
Back to neon.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Dying right now.

I love Jeremy Shockey but I wish he could've stayed with New York.
And lol @ the ref trying to blow his whistle like it's going to break up the fight.


Haven't done one of these posts in a while, but it's more than necessary.
I'm getting frustrated about the fact I have no zero.
The money I have in my savings needs to stay there because the seasonal job I was working ended & now I have no income whatsoever.
Obviously I need to start applying to more jobs but getting a job doesn't happen overnight.
I don't have any money for Christmas shopping so, everyone is gonna have to be satisfied with a nice card.

I feel like such a failure sometimes.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Proof that any guy capable of growing a beard, should do so.
This song is too beautiful & Gavin's not so bad himself.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

...& Fucking Yum.

Current Amazingness of My Nails & Quick Update:

Officially finished with this semester.
I met with my adivsor yesterday & chose my classes for next Spring.
I signed up for a 5 hour writer's workshop class on Saturdays & Sundays.
Couldn't be more stoked about that.
For now though, it's time to relax & not complain about writing 10 page papers on absolute nonsense.
I've had some ideas in my head about the next few things I want to write but it's like I can't seem to get around to writing them; I'm either too tired or too... busy (ahem).
Speaking of being busy, back to my To Catch A Predator marathon.

Friday, December 17, 2010


just got done making my schedule for next semester...
& then I accidentally went into Sally's again...& bought more nail polish by mistake.
Roll Call (L to R): Phat Santa, Mistletoe Kisses, & Turned Up Turquiose


Thursday, December 16, 2010

Current amazingness of my nails.

My thumb looks weird cause I've decided not to grow it out anymore. It always grows in broken for some reason, so I'm done fooling with it.

Gemineye's poetry makes me want to be a better person.

Monday, December 13, 2010


Can't say I didn't try.
Just got back from Sally's & they, surprisingly, didn't have ANYTHING from the Burlesque Collection.
However, China Glaze polishes were buy 2, get 1 free.
So I got a base coat, Unplugged, & Dorothy Who?.
I've been dying for Unplugged, I needed a base coat badly & Dorothy Who? is a good winter color.
Fuck it.

I had big plans for myself today...

but they all changed.
My first plan was to take my test, come home & sleep for the rest of the day.
My second plan was to take my test, get breakfast somewhere & watch T.V. for the rest of the day (Shouts to Maury!).
Sadly, I realized, I'd rather buy nail polish than eat or sleep.
So, I'm still awake, making my own breakfast & waiting for Sally's to open so I can run a train on the new Burlesque Collection by OPI.
Failure, ftw.

Tru Fax:

I love when I'm around someone but never close enough to check them out,
& when I finally do get near them, they have a completely different eye color than what I expected.
I've been in class with the same kid for the past 4 months,
& after partnering up with him for my final, I noticed he has the most beautiful blue eyes.
That made my day.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


Grammar test tomorrow morning.
Gotta get up at 6, be on the road at 7, be done with my test at 9.
Hopefully I'll do alright.

I can speak good english.

Goodnight. <3

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I hate posting video after video but, it had to be done in this case.
I can't watch this without getting chills.
According to the comments, the soloist's wife doesn't allow him to sing anymore.
I can't imagine what her reasoning is but, I'm thinking a divorce is crucial.

My computer is still fucked up.

Staples may have gotten the virus out,
but I still have a shitload of problems with my computer.
Fuck electronics.
...& pardon my French.

This video makes my life complete.

I've had a crush on Ben Roethlisberger since I was 14 years old. I'm not sure what made me want to watch the Super Bowl in '06 but, Big Ben (& that amazing beard of his) made me sit through the entire game. I get so sick of people tying his allegations to EVERYTHING he does. The fact he's a better quarterback than anyone talking shit about him, should outshine any bullshit that may or may not have happened in the past.
It's time to move on.
This dude is funny, talented & sexy as all hell.
Broken nose & all, I will always have a school girl crush on Ben Roethlisberger.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'm so tired,

I could cry.
I had a presentation at 8 this morning,
now I'm working on another one that's due at 2,
then I have another at 5,
followed by two tests.
I'm trying to figure out how I can fit a nap in there somewhere without missing class, or being up all night because of it.
Anyway, trying to focus on this paper & the Josh Groban songs playing in the background.
I can't even think straight.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Happy Birthday,

to the gorgeous DJ Wreckineyez!
Hope your birthday is a dope as you...

Monday, December 6, 2010

...& Josh Groban is stupid-gorgeous.
Goodnight. <3

Matisyahu is magic.

That is all.

Just ran into a dude in Walmart

who made my first two years of high school torture.
I had the biggest crush on him back then & he unfortunately knew it & made fun of me for it.
I was a freshman/sophomore & he was, in his mind, the "big man on campus" junior/senior.
He played football & he sucked at it.
He only liked popular blonde girls who didn't like him back.
You'd think getting a taste of his own medicine would at least allow him to have some empathy for the way I was feeling about him.
I seriously could not get away from him in the fucking store...& he doesn't even know my name.
It's not like he could call me by it to say "what's up?". He didn't even give me a chance to tell him my name back then.
As I was leaving, I was backing out of my parking space & he was just standing there, looking stupid as always.
It was like he was trying to figure out who I was or something...or maybe he expected me to say something to him.
I drove off & resisted the urge to make eye contact with him.
He will never find a good woman.
He's out of shape, unintelligent, & an asshole.
I should've hit him with my fucking car.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I don't know why Demi Lovato was (is?) in rehab. I've heard everything from drugs to cutting, but I truly hope she gets the help she needs & feels better soon.
As much as I despise all that Disney singer/actor bullshit, Demi is absolutely gorgeous, a better singer than anyone that's ever been on Disney channel, & she seems like a really sweet girl.
She's in my thoughts...<3

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Just found the most gorgeous picture of Josh Groban...

but, for whatever reason, this site won't let me post it.
Just know, he looks amazing in it.
Gonna go to bed & listen to the afore scribed song.
As I've said before: LOVE JOSH.
Goodnight. <3

Friday, December 3, 2010

Just came across this video.
This song reminds me of my freshman year of high school. It reminds me of all the people I was friends with back then, who I would never even dream of talking to now. It reminds me of YouTube when it was brand new, before celebrities had accounts & commercials were advertised before every video. It reminds me of some good times I've had, alone in my room, writing song lyrics, trying to play guitar & blasting this song on my cd player.
This song will always have a place in my heart.


I feel like I haven't been on here as often as I used to (& that's probably because I haven't).
I really don't have much of a reason why. School has been kind of getting me down, my sleeping habits are even more fucked up now & I've been going to sleep around 4 a.m. even when I need to get up at 6, & as I've said, winter in upstate New York could drive anyone absolutely insane.
There's no snow here yet which is more than odd. We had a crazy mild winter last year, & now that it is December & all we're having is rainstorms, it's kind of scary.
Global warming isn't bullshit.
I've been trying to get back to writing (as opposed to typing). I missed writing poetry like a crackhead misses crack. There is nothing more satisfying to me.
I guess everything is cool over here.
A little tired, a little freaked out by the weather.
But everything is cool. (it's a link, homies)

is making me wish I had my own house to hang this incredible also makes me wish I could draw.
Seriously, you can't even tell what my stick people are.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Oh, & now that I've seen this, I've decided to move to India.
Seriously falling asleep to this...

I need these curtains...badly.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Fell asleep after dinner again.
How serious is Anthony's voice, though?

Monday, November 29, 2010

Just recieved some great news

about someone I seem to have fallen in love with.
Yes, it's midnight.
No, I haven't finished my paper.
I apparently have (hopefully) a 24 virus & I ended up sleeping from 9-12, then fell asleep again at 1:30-6:30.
Still feeling kind of shitty, but the paper needs to get done.
Currently listening to Jazmine Sullivan's new album via her MySpace.'s iight so far.
Anyway, I can't post the news without seeming like an obsessed fan.
Let's just say a certain dude in a certain band was in a relationship with a certain bitch & she seemed to only make him miserable.
Well, the relationship is OVER.
He deserves much better than that hoe & I'm stoked for him.
Ugh...back to the paper.

Working on that paper now,

but I'm having a hard time focusing.
Maybe it's the court shows in the background (shouts to Judge Karen!),
or maybe it's the fact I have no idea what I'm doing.
I woke up sick this morning & ended up not going to school.
Sometimes I feel like I'm really wasting my time with college.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I have a habit of falling asleep after I eat dinner, so although I should probably be laying my ass down & getting ready to get up at six, I'm watching this video over & over...and over.
I should also probably be worrying about the fact I have a huge paper due Tuesday & I haven't even started it, but instead, I'm thinking about the fact I need to go to MAC & get some more lipstick.
Uhh...yeah. I'm gonna stop blogging now.
Goodnight. <3

Random Daily Haiku:

I don't want to write
this fucking paper for class.
Maybe I just won't.

Friday, November 26, 2010

This is one of my favorite interviews of all time, but it's also one of the most hypocritical.
I saw A Life Once Lost in February of 2008 & Bob Meadows (the sexy beast with the glasses) is one of the nicest, most humble musicians I've ever met in my life. He listened to every pointless story his fans told him & he was so easy to approach, I almost forgot he'd just gotten off stage.
In this interview I think Bob proved that he is unbelievably smart & very in-touch with himself. Everything he says makes sense. That's rare in interviews, especially with pretentious bullshit musicians who call themselves making sense when they're actually just rambling on about nothing.
HOWEVER, while Bob's spot-on when talking about the ever-changing state of hardcore & the whole idea of kids looking up to musicians as role models or heroes even, I'm not sure if he realizes, there's only a few interviews with A Life Once Lost on YouTube & another video features the band in a club bathroom talking about & smoking weed. The video is entited 'Stoner Highlights'.
Now, I know some people don't consider smoking green as doing drugs, & I can see where they're coming from on that...but I still think it looks kind of shitty on Bob & his well-spoken opinions.
The fact that they're all inside of a van trailer, smoking a blunt probably doesn't help his point too much either.
I don't think anyone looks as far into band interviews as I tend to, so this is pretty much a useless post.
I'm jussayin'.

Enjoying the Silence:

I spent Thanksgiving alone this year.
I HATE holidays... mainly Thanksgiving & Christmas.
Just not into the food or the company.
As terrible as it sounds, I am the complete opposite of a family person.
I'm extremely close to my mom but since I live with her & she's retired, once I get home from school, she's ALWAYS there.
As a 19 year old young woman, I get zero alone time.
So this holiday, it was nice to be alone while she went elsewhere with the rest of the family.
I'm always thankful for the people & things that may come my way, I don't need a gluttonous holiday to realize that I have a good life.
I'm also an impulse buyer & I find ways to get what I want all year round, I don't need a self-centered holiday to look forward to getting a bunch of shit I won't even remember come the same time next year.
I've been doing a lot of sleeping, reading & watching court shows (shouts to Judge Alex!).
It's been a good break from school but, sadly enough, I'm ready to go back.
Geek Pride.
Happy belated Thanksgiving, everyone...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

In honor of my nostalgia:

I will always love these two beautiful matter what.

Random Daily Haiku:

You are so lucky.
We are all so fortunate
just to be alive.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

This video has always annoyed the living shit out of me. How irritating can one person be?
Everyone chalks Lisa up to a bitch but when dealing with people like this chick filming the video, you can't blame her.
I don't know how Jess was so nice to her.
I would've kicked her ass.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Just wanted to post a picture of my favorite girls back when they were the only people I looked up to.
I'm in a music-based nostalgic mood & this picture could make me cry right about now.
Support young bands, you'll miss who they used to be.
Goodnight. <3

Shameful Josh Update:

So...I haven't yet bought Josh's new album...& I'm feeling just semi-awful about it.
I've been reading some hot & cold reviews on it, & no one really seems to have a solid opinion except for the diehard Grobanites who are just happy he made another album.
As I said about two weeks ago, I've been blasting one of his singles, Voce Existe Em Mim, like a mad woman. However, the greatness of that single is only matched by the lackluster-ness of, Hidden Away & Higher Window, two more singles he's actually promoting now.
I downloaded all three singles at the same time & Hidden Away as well as Higher Window still have yet to interest me half as much as Voce Existe Em Mim (even though English is the only language I'm fluent in).
Someone on iTunes said Illuminations sounds like a shitty inspirational Christian album which, surprisingly, doesn't make me want to buy it & blast it in my car like some old-school Lamb of God.
After the unblievable explosion of popularity Josh endured with his third studio album, Awake, he'd have to put something out that is no less than spectacular to outdo himself.
I'm not sure if he did it, but I guess the only way to find out is to buy that fucking album & continue to support a man with a voice bigger than any stadium you try to contain it in.
I'm listening to Voce Existe Em Mim now for the hundredth time & I'm still getting chills like I've never heard it before.
That, in itself, is enough for me to give the entire album a chance.

Random Daily Haiku:

Who needs love to live?
Who needs love to wear a smile?
Only cowards do.

I didn't go to school today,

because I didn't feel like it.
I went shopping instead.
After skipping class to push through thousands of idiots at the mall,
I learned I didn't need to go to my Sociology class to realize how much people annoy me.

Rofl @ these hoes trying to get at my man. Can't blame them, though.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Random Daily Haiku:

Better to find out
in the worst way possible,
than to never know.

I think Perez Hilton said it perfectly when he said that Joeseph Gordon Levitt has core fans that, for whatever reason, show up to his shows. Perez was also right when he said this cover fucking sucks.
Joeseph Gordon Levitt is an exceptional actor & crazy handsome in a unique, not-so-everyday way. However, he's not much of a musician based on this video.
He got some shitty guitar work going on &, let's be honest, he can't really sing.
He sounds like a dude in a bar singing karaoke.
JGL has said it himself: he's pretentious.
Why he's proud of that, I don't know. Musically, he has nothing to back it up.
After hearing this atrocious cover & the hipster chicks moaning afer every word he sings, I think I'll stick to this dude's movies from now on.
Not everyone in Hollywood is a double threat.


is why people are often conflicted when it comes to the lovely Jonny Craig.
One minute he's goofy & adorable, the next minute he's conceited & acting like a complete asshole.
The only thing that really bothers me about his behavior is the fact there are artists 1000x bigger than him, who still remain humble.
Jonny has never had a number one hit, nor do any of the big names in most generes even know who he is.
He would be the total package if he could just stay down to earth.

Props to Brandon Sloter for filming this & putting up with Jonny's shit. Truly one of the nicest & most talented photographers/videographers I've ever met.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

And because it is a shitty day...or night...

I'm ADDICTED to this song & video.
I never noticed what a filthy mouth Yela has until I heard the clean version of this song & EVERYTHING he says is censored.
As long as he keeps his shirt off, I'll watch a video of him reading the Bible.


the things I would do to this guy are...probably illegal... in at least 35 states.
Thanks for making this shitty, cold, fall day hot as living fuck.

Why is Yela not in my bed right now? This dude is hip hop...

I really

need to sit my ass down on the couch & read this book for a while.
However, I have to leave & head back to school at 5:25.
I feel like I should at least put some makeup on & try to look decent,
but the only cute boy in the class sits behind me & he's just semi-cute.

Boredom is toxic.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Just bought this book.

I have a research paper due next week & I decided to write mine on Charles Bukowski.
We'll see how goes...

Monday, November 15, 2010

NO ONE understands me like Tumblr.
I'm gonna do my nightly routine
& hopefully get a lot of writing done tonight.
Today has been informative to say the least.
Can't wait for tomorrow.

Goodnight. <3

Random Daily Haiku:

I'm not who I am
yet. But I will be one day.
I hope one day soon.


I guess you don't really know who someone is until they tell you in their own words.
You can idolize someone all day & quote every fucking word that comes out of their mouth, but it doesn't mean you understand them.
I'm starting to learn more about someone I've looked up to since I was 15 & it's kind of scary.
I think I forgot that he's a real guy.
He talks about himself almost as much as I talk about myself, but it's in kind of a pretentious way.
I don't think I ever knew who he was in the first place.
I'm thinking maybe it's about time I stop trying to figure everyone out.
It's a habit.
A bad one.
And I can't win.
It's winter here in upsate New York & I always start losing my mind around this time.
Little things like finding out I've been enamoured with someone who is apparently made up, is annoying as fuck & I can only blame myself for it.
I feel like this dude sorta has his head up his ass...well, not sorta, he really fucking does.
I guess we're only a few years apart & he needs to do as much soul searching as I do, but I don't talk about myself like I'm the second coming of Jesus.
Because I'm not.
Staying humble is one of the most attractive traits I can think of & this dude just doesn't seem to possess it.
Confidence is easily confused with arrogance, I know.
I guess I'm just irritated.
I feel like a small part of me just died.

(The title is a link. Get my gist)


Billy Rymer is now in a band with Ryan Hunter & Brian Byrne.


Today might be the best day of my life.

I can't even remember my first name right now....

Sunday, November 14, 2010

At this point, I think I'm agitated for numerous reasons.
1. I feel like I'm playing games with someone I really like...or I'm just terrible at reading signals
2. This paper needs to be done by 8 a.m. tomorrow
3. Last night sucked
4. The last two are results of number 1
I think I need to just chill out for a while.
I'm gonna write, listen to Envy on the Coast & possibly go for a drive to clear my head.
I HATE Sundays.


Why do I feel like I'm ALWAYS writing a fucking English paper?
Maybe it has something to do with being an English major but, I'm calling writer's block right now.
I hate feeling like I've wasted an entire day & yesterday seems pretty wasted.
I could've at least finished my outline...

Friday, November 12, 2010

Jessie J is a bad bitch.
Her first single 'Do it Like a Dude' doesn't show her incredible voice & I hope people catch on to her through songs like these.
She is anything but ordinary.

Random Daily Haiku:

I've been waiting for
a certain kind of feeling
that will never come.

Lil' Flip's new song 'Kim Kardashian':

Is fucking awful.
No joke.
This song is so horrible, I'm deleting my illegal download of it as we speak.
I don't know if Kim herself actually digs this song, but I would sue Flip for slander.
This song is like taking a video of Kim having sex & selling it to the masses...
Oh, wait.

Thursday, November 11, 2010


-Finish my nightly YouTube spree
-Wash my face
-Brush my teeth
-Read & write for a while
-Pray to God I don't get bit by another spider
-Try to catch some z's before the sun comes up

Hope everyone's wishes came true on 11/11...
Goodnight. <3

This video could make me smile on the worst day of my life. (Don't test me on that)
Phil seems like such a good person...& check out that hot piece of ass in the black & pink behind him.

I would do just about anything for a cool bedroom.
I guess my room has potential, but I live in an apartment & painting the walls would be a pain in the ass.
This room is AMAZING.
I'd shoot the person if they ever dreamed of leaving it.

Random Daily Haiku:

I want so much more
than you could ever give me.
I need to give up.

It's 11/11.

I wonder if everyone's wishes will come true next year on 11/11/11. I always seem to make the same wish when it 11:11, & I guess it somewhat comes true.
I'll try a new wish today & hopefully today's date will be on my side.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Getting up at 6 again tomorrow.
Gonna finish watching Terror videos, listening to Butch Walker & drinking tea, so I can hit the sack.
Until tomorrow...
Goodnight. <3

Now Playing:

Woe, Is Me's debut album, Number[s], has two tracks with Jonny Craig on it &, needless to say, I'm digging it. 'Desolate (the Conductor)' & 'Our Number(s)' are both amazing, but you need to listen to them in that order. It's kind of fun to hear the contrast between Jonny's vocals & WIM's vocalist, Tyler Carter's vocals. Tyler has a serious voice & I think that's one of the main reasons Jonny was so willing to help on the songs. At times I think Tyler tries too hard to sing like Jonny, especially with the rougher vocals (gotta leave those to the Master), but he's got a similar r&b-tinged voice that sounds orgasmic against rock music. Tyler Carter is one to watch...espcially for Jonny maniacs like myself.

Check out the songs, above =)

My Tumblr was my life last summer. My entire life...& everything in it.
I started the blog on the 4th of July, 2009 &, as anyone who has a Tumblr knows, it was confusing as fuck at first. From reblogs, to likes, to Tumblarity, to followers, Tumblr was initially difficult to figure out. But once I got it down, I was totally & completely addicted. It got to the point where I would go to bed early in the morning after being on Tumblr all night, wake up, go straight to Tumblr & backtrack on everything I'd missed while I was asleep.
Yup, it was that bad...or good.
Look, I was a new high school graduate, with one workaholic friend & it was summer. I don't talk on the phone, I don't party & I sure as fuck didn't have a job, so Tumblr became my best friend last year.
My first follower was a kid named Tyler. This 16 year old indie kid who had unique taste in music & liked to look at strawberries. He posted a playlist of songs he was listening to at the time, complete with download links & I ate that shit up. Some of it was annoying, tortured artist shit & some was decent tortured artist shit, but I was happy that someone was freely giving me music to listen to.
I dowloaded his playlist, got more comfortable with my Tumblr (i.e. posting things that actually interested me), & he stopped following me about a week after he started.
I was never popular on Tumblr. The highest amount of followers I had was somewhere around 70, & the highest my Tumblarity ever reached was somewhere around 600.
Sounds like a lot but by Tumblr standards, that was just slightly better than average.
Tumblr made me feel like I actually had friends. I felt like we were all classmates, & maybe even closer because of all the personal shit people tend to put on the internet. There were a few girls I knew I could always talk to &, of course, the unattainable guy who always seems to play some kind of role in my life.
My Tumblr summer probably would've been better if Stephen hadn't been on there...or if he at least liked me.
Stephen was this cute 20 year old Candian kid that had eerily similar taste in music to mine & the best smile in the world. He had (has) a thing for super skinny blondes & much prettier brunettes, so I was always out of the question for him. I always liked & rebloged his posts, not because I liked him, but because he was fucking awesome. Every song lyric he posted was one of my favorite songs & every story he told was the funniest story I'd ever heard (like the time he gave someone's speech at the Oscars a standing ovation from his bedroom).
Stephen is not worth talking about. I'm sure he had some idea that I liked him, he just didn't care. That's life.
Tumblr was a fun way of finding myself as well. I posted shit I cared about & made random statements about what was going on around me. It was like a living, breathing diary that I could compare & contrast with a million others.
I kind of think Tumblr has gone to shit these days. I hardly ever check mine anymore, bigger names like Hayley Williams have caught on to it, & it doesn't seem like a bunch of lost teenagers/20-somethings anymore.
Ironically, my Tumblr url was derived from a Paramore lyric.
Well hey hey baby, it's never too late. Pretty soon you won't remember a thing. And I'll be distant as stars, reminiscent. Your heart's been wasted on me...
Decoy is not even close to my favorite Paramore song, but I adore that line & the way Hayley sings it. So that's where my name came from.
I feel so proud looking back at my old posts, even though it was only a year ago.
Sometimes, you really need to step back & check out just how fucking awesome you really are.
I miss Summer '09 & Tumblr '09...

The title's a link. Scope my archive on a rainy day.


A while ago, I subtly bragged about going to see Asher Roth. Well, I saw him about a month ago at a shitty fest in Altamont called... Applestock.
Sure, it was fall music festival but I think they could've come up with a better name.
I went for Asher & Asher only. However, I caught a few of the other acts & I'll speak on those briefly.
Shontelle- I felt sort of bad for this girl. I love her music & own her first album, but she was either tired, sick or just vocally exhausted. Her voice started acting up in the first song & by the last song, her biggest hit 'T-Shirt', she sounded like shit. I'm sure she's a very talented artist & thank God the crowd knew some of her songs so when she held the mic out to us, there wasn't an awkward silence to match the awkwardness of her voice... or lack thereof.
Benji & Joel Madden (a.k.a. Good Charlotte)- This was my 3rd time seeing "Good Charlotte", although the first two times, the entire band was there. Benji & Joel could have their own reality show. They are, by far, the world's cutest twins. From making fun of each other the entire time to arguing about who fucked up what part, they are two extremely entertaining people. I will never talk badly about either one of them. Their performance was awesome as usual.
One Republic- Hands down, one of the best live performaces I've ever seen. I've never really taken a good listen to their music (I have 3 or 4 of their songs from their first album on my iPod), but I doubt buying their music could compare to their live show. Their lead singer, Ryan, has one fuck of a voice & seeing that band live will stick with me more than most concerts I've gone to.
Asher- I honestly never thought I would see Asher Roth live. Hip hop artists don't tour half as much as bands & when they do, they only hit up the major cities.
When Asher & D.J. Wreckineyez came out, I was surprisingly not as stoked as I thought I would be. I was right up against the barricade & the people surrounding me consisted of 14-16 year old, white suburban kids who couldn't seem to stop talking about how they didn't know who Asher was. They kept talking about radio-dominating artists like Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne to make it seem like they knew their shit when it comes to hip-hop. Constantly bragging that they only knew the "college song" & admitting they had no idea what Ash looks like (one claimed he had red hair), I was ready to kill someone by the time the show started.
Asher was fun & crazy handsome in person. I was the only person in the crowd who knew the words to his songs & I kind of felt like an outcast for actually being a real fan. Brain Bangley is, without a doubt, the most gorgeous dude I've ever seen in person.
He. Is. Fucking. Stunning.
After all those random posts I've made about how sexy, funny, & amazing Brain is, he exceeded my expectations by a thousand miles.
The main part of the show that irked me, I guess, was the fact that little old Mariah didn't get any love.
Not the back of the tour bus kind of love, but some minor appreciation.
I was right up front, singing the lyrics to songs that no one in the crowd could've given a less fuck about & I felt fucking invisible.
Boyd, who was also insanely gorgeous, did his typical walk through the front of the crowd to pick out girls for 'She Don't Want a Man'. He talked a few girls next to me into getting onstage, walked right past me & started talking to the 15 year old girl next to me, ultimately getting her to get onstage too.
The world knows, I'm shy as all hell & I would've been crazy to get onstage...but some recognition for being a decent looking, & not to mention legal, female, would've been beyond appreciated. The girls that ended up on stage were primarily young, hick-ish looking girls, with the exception of one woman in her mid-50's & one extremely attractive girl (the only one Boyd danced with).
As I said in one of my previous posts, Ash's his boys played whole rockstar shit. They weren't walking around the fair grounds for anyone to meet & say 'what's up' to, but that was to be expected.
Cheezey as it sounds, I went home feeling kind of empty.
It was almost like I wasted my time & energy on seeing these people who, in the end, didn't really see me.
I obviously I am not taking the whole thing personally. It was just another random, shitty experience...that just so happened to involve a bunch of people I thought I was in love with.
No hard feelings. Really.
Overall Review-
My local radio station got who they could afford. I wouldn't say I got my $17 worth (I've seen Lamb of God for $15). I don't think I'll ever go back to Applestock (or Altamont) again.
Fuck it.

Random Daily Haiku:

I'd give anything,
Just to have you for one day.
Please give me a chance.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Scott Vogel is probably old enough to be my father, but he still looks good as fuck.
...And how fucking pretty is Denise?


Stuck at school as usual.
I really have to pee, but I'm fighting the urge so I can finish some of my drafts on this site.
It's almost poetry time, though!
1.5 hours of delicious boredom.
Again, there are a thousand assignments I need to get done for school.
Yet here I sit, mouse to the right of me, Cosmopolitan to the left, & the keys beneath my fingers.
I couldn't be happier right now...unless you put a certain someone next me.
That might just make things awkward, though.
I love the idea of seeing someone I like twice a week, for an hour and a half at a time. It makes me crave those days much more.
I tried to check out my horoscope but it's all over the fucking place.
Guess I'm gonna have to take fate in to my own hands today.
K, then.
Off to pee.

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Officially a broke college student.
I guess I have been for the past year or so, but now it's just getting stupid.
I worked a shitty job in the mall for about a month over the summer & into September.
...I made roughly $400.
Like, what?
Everyone that is hiring is only hiring for seasonal work & because I'm a student with a ridiculous schedule, I can only work certain hours on certain days.
I've always viewed school as my first priority BUT, let's face it, I'm not getting paid to go to school & I have shit that needs to be taken care of (like my severe music addiction).
I also happen to be kinda picky. I won't work in a dollar store, fast food, or grocery store.
I don't feel like I'm asking too much there. There's a million places left for me to's just SO irritating.
Anyway, I'm so sleepy right now, I can't even imagine being at work.
Again, fuck you, daylight savings time.

Quick Update:

-My computer got a virus & I had to go get it removed (for close to $100)

-The computer passed the virus on to my iPod (& it's still infected)

-I've been listening to Chimaira like a manic this week (until my iPod got sick)

-And...that's about it.

Fuck daylight savings time. It's pitch black out here in upstate NY, it's freezing & I feel like it should be 11 o'clock.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I've learned that I cannot dislike Mod Sun. I'm really not a fan of his music at all so, I tried to dislike him as well.
Especially after watching this interview. He really lives up to his name, Modern Sunshine. He's so happy & relaxed & hilarious, you'd have to be cold-hearted to say he isn't one cool motherfucker.
I'm still not into his music, but I could seriously fall in love with that personality.

Hayley Williams has the sexiest little body & I think the reason I'm so attracted to it is because it's kind of like a dude's.
Sorry, girl.
You're beautiful.


-Paint my nails
-Do my makeup
-Fix my hair
-Get my shit together

All in under 2 hours.
No harm in doing it all in front of the computer, right?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Sick of hearing about Jonny yet?

No revelations tonight.
I was just watching some live Emarosa videos & blasting all things Jonny, earlier.
What else can I say? I love this dude.
And yeah, I may have a thing for redheads, but seriously...
He's almost as pretty as his fucking voice.
Props to however took this shot.
Your timing couldn't have been more perfect.
Goodnight. <3

Juliet Simms' voice is otherworldly. Not sure why Automatic Loveletter isn't as big as bands like Paramore &, dare I say it, Hey fucking Monday, but they should be. We need more raw talent in the scene.

...And I scored this cute little blender.
Never been more stoked about a kitchen appliance.

A little late but...

still continuing to support one of the funniest dudes alive.
Bo Burnham is life.
Stuck at school.
Bored for an hour until my poetry class at 2... where I will continue to be bored.
There's a couple things I could be getting done right now, but I'm not really feeling them.
The only reason I show up for Poetry is the certain someone I keep bringing up. The class in incredibly boring & we hardly do any writing. Right now we're in the worst fucking chapter so far.
If this dude didn't feel the need to sit next me in class everyday, I wouldn't even bother showing up.
I guess I can thank him for my decent attendance record.
I'm not gonna lie, though. This semester has been boring as shit.
I kinda just want to go home, paint my nails & listen to Jonny Craig.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Envy on the Coast will forever be a part of my life. What other band can play an improv jam sesh as sick as this?
Jer Velardi is my favorite bassist of all time.

I just watched a bunch of old episodes of Meet the Barkers that I taped back in 05'. Shanna Moakler/Barker is still one of my favorite girls in the entire world. This show was BOMB.

I couldn't wake up today,

let alone go to school...for 45 mins.
I don't know why I was so tired but I just woke up about a half hour ago.
Im up now.
Time to eat some peanut butter & listen to Dillinger.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Possibly the strangest shot of a metal band I've ever seen.
Did Billy really have to fuck it up by not wearing black?
Ugh, drummers.
What a handsome group of dudes...
Goodnight. <3

I adore Buddy. He is one of the few people left in the music business that willingly speak their mind in interviews. He's 100% right in the points that he makes, as well. All Time Low started out as a great band. Their songs were ridiculously catchy & Alex is, no doubt, a good singer. But as time went on, they gained more popularity & were suddenly every-fucking-where. It got to the point where I don't even think half the girls that went to their shows actually owned half of ATL's music. It was all about how hot Alex is & how funny Jack is. ATL's newest album has done better than anything that they've released before, but it's a shitty record. You just can't convince me that band didn't get fucking lazy on that album.
And as for, Boys Like Girls, please don't even get me started. They have gone from a decent band, to the most atrocious display of audible vomit, I've ever heard. I won't get into each individual in the band, because I don't know shit about them. I think it would've been respectable for the drummer to keep his mouth closed, though. Senses Fail has had a huge impact on their scene & Boys Like Girls never will.
The whole 'death' comment was a little weird. I've been reading the comments on this video & everyone who doesn't like Buddy or supports ATL & BLG is calling him out on that whole 'van accident' thing. I think what he was trying to say is, there are people who litterally lose their lives on the road, giving all that they've got for music. He was comparing that to the fact there are bands out there who can't even give enough of themselves to write their own lyrics, let alone run the risk of death for their art.
I think.
I guess I'm somewhat biased in this arguement because I love Buddy. In fact, I'm probably a bigger fan of Buddy than I am of Senses Fail. They're a great band, but Buddy always seems to stay real & keep a good head on his shoulders. Senses Fail does, in fact, have better lyrics than most bands around today & Buddy does write every single word himself. Maybe he was wrong in bringing up the whole conversation, but at the end of the day, it's his opinion & someone asked him for it.

Currently beating this song to death:

His voice is inhuman.
Love Josh...<3
A little upset that I'm not doing ANYTHING for Halloween but, it'll probably come back next year.
Last year, I went to the shittiest Halloween party at a semi-friend's house.
I hate parties.
I'm not a big people person & when there's 500 drunk, ignorant people dressed as God-knows-whats surrounding me, I tend to get annoyed.
I don't even remember how the night ended.
My best friend's boyfriend had to come pick us up & take us to a gas station to get drinks...& I have no idea what happened after that.
So, maybe it's good that I'm spending my time on here today.
At least everything I'm doing is documented, now.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Is it possible for me to, like, not be hungry...ever?

Friday, October 29, 2010

A Jonny Craig Revelation (?):

As you may or may not know, Dance Gavin Dance kicked Kurt Travis out of the band & re-hired Jonny as the singer so that they can pretty much re-make their most appreciated album, Downtown Battle Mountain.
As much as I LOVE Downtown Battle Mountain era DGD, I can only describe this move in one word:
I don't want to get too much into Dance Gavin Dance as a band simply because I don't know too much about them.
Here's the deal:
I watched the "big" Dance Gavin Dance reunion show that took place a couple weeks ago in Sacremento...well, I watched as much as I could bear of the video.
The highest rated comment on the video, at the time, was posted by sergioisevil & they said:
"After watching this in its entirety, I'm suddenly not as excited for their next record as I thought I would be. This whole "DBM2" thing is just unnecessary and seems to be a result of DGD doing what their FANS want them to do as opposed to what THEY want to do. And I miss Jonny when he was a quiet introvert with powerhouse talent. Every time he opens his mouth between songs he says something stupid. And every time he sings he sings as bombastically as possible while sacrificing the lyrics."
I could not agree with this person more.
Basically the performace sucked. Jonny's voice was blown out, he couldn't remember half of the words & he acted like a fucking rockstar the whole night.
The comment really made me think about my adoration for Jonny Craig & where it came from.
A Brief Overview:I don't remember when or why I started listening to DGD but it was a long while ago. The only thing I remember about first listening to them is, of course, Jonny's voice. After hearing And I Told Them I Invented Times New Roman, I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing was real. Seeing as Jonny is only 24 now, he had to be about 20-21 when recording DBM. Any void, crack, or imperfection within DBM was filled with Jonny's voice. He had the most soulful, r&b-tinged voice that he can somehow morph into the best rock vocals you've ever heard, while maintaining the most impressive range in his scene. The best/almost frustrating part of all this?
No one knew who the fuck he was.
I would try to find pictures & information on Jonny, & other than his name, it was close to impossible to find ANYTHING on him. He was just this skinny kid with a mullet, who had more talent in one body than most bands have in all their bodies combined.
The more I got into Jonny & the more people caught on to him joining Emarosa, the more spotlight the dude got...Good & bad...& horrible.
Suddenly everyone cared that Jonny had gotten kicked out of DGD as opposed to leaving on his own terms. They suddenly cared about his alleged drug problem (nevermind DGD's song The Importance of Cocaine). The suddenly cared about the girls he was fucking, the music he listened to & whether or not his name was spelled with an 'h'.
Now, I feel like Jonny is, at least in his own head, a bona fide superstar. His name has been changed amongst his fans to Jonny "Fucking' Craig, his Twitter ( has almost 30,000 followers, & if you don't know by now that his name, Johnathan, is spelled with an 'h' but he prefers to spell Jonny without it, you're a loser.Jonny got popular enough within the scene to put out a solo album & do a solo tour. You know my deal with missing him everytime he comes near me, so no, I've never seen him live. I have a feeling, if I ever went to one of his shows, I'd probably avoid meeting him. There has obviously never been anything Jonny has said or done to make me care about him any less but I don't want to run the risk by having a fucked up personal experience with him. Sometimes you just have to appreciate pretty things from afar.
I have heard some of the worst things about Jonny than I've ever heard about anyone else. Short of murder, the dude has been accused of everything...& he thrives on it. I believe Jonny deserves all the success in the world, I just wish he could handle it in a more subtle fashion.
Closing Thoughts:I'm not super stoked about DGD's new album but I'll of course check it out & support a great band.
As for Jonny...
I say it everytime I talk about Jonny but, I will always support his causes. I often think the whole "fame" thing came at him a little too quickly & he's still the same sweet, red-haired Candian kid he was 3 or 4 years ago. Let's hope...
He's incredibly gorgeous & much too talented to put into words.
Something about Jonny makes me love him unconditionally, & even if they have to put up with all his self-absorbed bullshit first, I would only wish for everyone in the world to hear his voice.

One of the best parts of my life, is that Marc Broussard's voice is in it.

Oh hai, boredom...

Yes, I did a shitty job.
No, it won't last until Halloween.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I wish I could wear this shirt every Tuesday & 2:00pm.

Boy in my poetry class, what is your fucking deal?
If you like me, it's cool.
You're kinda cute yourself.

I may've posted this before but,

Can Billy Rymer be more talented
or gorgeous
or humble?
This shit is ridiculous.
You can tell he's someone who really loves his instrument as opposed to these little scene bands who never thought of taking the time to learn how to play their instrument.
He blows my mind & I love how he just shrugs the whole thing off at the end.


I have a big research paper due in December for one of my English classes. We can pretty much write the paper on anything we want other than the shit she put on a certain list.
I was thinking about writing mine on obsessed readers. People who chose to emurse themselves in books rather than enjoying the world around them.
The problem?
The internet doesn't seem to know what the fuck I'm talking about.
I didn't make this term up, I swear.
Fuck it.
I'm just gonna have to do it without the help of my bff, Google.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tru Fax:

I'm 19 & I still have imaginary friends.

Lots of em'.

I honestly think I would be a total & complete wreck without them, though.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Please let me kick someone's ass with these?

When I have bad days,

I cuddle up with this band. I know I talk about Envy like a maniac, but nothing is more medicinal to me than their music.
It's an Envy kinda day.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Along with this 50's/60's phase, I'm becoming obsessed with letterman jackets. It's nearly impossible to find a decent one online but Jonny's is fucking incredible. I'm pretty sure I could fit in anything he wears. So, next time you're in this town, Mr. Craig, I'll be more than willing to buy that shit right off your back. =)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

10 Page Research Paper Due Tomorrow.

Contemplating it like suicide.

What's up, 97th nail polish?

Yup, up to 97 now.
Don't think I buy polish every day cause that's not even close to the truth.
I've just been on a spending spree as of late.
So stoked to buy my 100th polish.
I think I know what it's gonna be...


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Holy Hell.

Yup, working on that paper now but...
How attractive are these guys?

Christmas in October:

Hat- I was cute & on sale. Need I say more?
Shoes- I needed new flats badly. I'd been wearing these sandals I'd bought around May, & for whatever reason, they made me trip over, I legitimately thought I was going to fall on a hourly basis. Got these at Marshall's for $20 & haven't tripped since.
Cetaphil(Gentle Face Cleanser)- Gotta keep my skin looking good
Chocolate- I don't know what's up with me right now. Maybe it's just a girl thing, if you know what I mean.
Magazines(Nylon Guys & Cosmopolitan)- Had to buy Nylons Guys once I realized my future husband, Jesse Eisenberg, decided to grace the cover this month. First thing I find out in the artice? He lives with his longtime girlfriend. Boo...
And possibly the funniest issue of Cosmo yet. The article 'Shit My Boyfriend Says' is hilarious.
Wet N' Wild Creme Eyeshadow(in Pixie, Electro, & Distress)- Didn't need them, but kind of wanted them. This makes 6 all together.
Nail Polishes(in Big Daddy, Vacation Time, Green with Envy, & Sun Worshiper)- What can I say? I am a total & complete nail addict. These colors are insane & I've already got a list of what I'm getting next. This brings me up to 96 polishes.

I worked for what I've got. None of this shit was free.

I'm Going Through a 50's/60's Phase Right Now:

I've been trying to coordinate my makeup & clothes with it without looking tacky (what's up, Katy Perry?).
If only I was able to coordinate my hair with it like the lovely Jessie James (there's something less than real about that chest, btw).
Bewteen my obsession with The Gaslight Anthem, my new Jersey Boys soundtrack, & my extensive makeup collection, I'm finding it a bit annoying that I'm a child of the 90's.
I'm putting off writing a paper right now.
I think I'll watch some more Gaslight videos & do my makeup.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Why is his hair so perfect & why do I keep watching this interview over & over...& over?

Goodnight. <3


to do something new with my hair.
All of the above.

I feel so fucking boring.

Monday, October 18, 2010

My (Ex) Septum Piercing: A Love/Hate Story

Q: Why did I get my septum pierced?

A: Again, I was 18 and stupid, I thought it would look cool, I enjoyed the idea of being able to "flip it up", & Hayley Williams looked cute with hers done.

The reality of the whole situation: My piercer, Jenny (or Genny, sorry), was awesome & that was pretty much the best part of the whole experience.
The clamp was too much for me to wayy too much. I don't know what my problem was that day but I could not deal with that clamp, so she had to do the piercing while holding the clamp closed. Not the best way of doing things but it hurt much, much less.
The needle wasn't too bad, it just took forever becuase I chickened out on the clamp.
Long story shy, I started out with a 14g & it hurt for at least 6 weeks. Not sore, but PAINFUL. The healing hurt more than the actual piercing.
I eventually moved it down to a 16g, then realized that I wouldn't be able to "flip it up" because it seemed to be misplaced. I don't know if that shit was crooked, or just pierced too closely to the front but it sucked.
I took it out in September after getting it done in May.
So yeah, not much of a story.
I don't necessarily reget getting done, I just wish I would've been a little wiser (& possibly less of a pussy).
Lesson learned.